Ed Returns To Government

My moves to discredit the junior minister for science and technology, who was blocking my return to government office, have worked well, Ed confides to his diary.

The junior minister’s plan to introduce an AI programme into the science and technology department to evaluate whether government should fund particular start-ups has been corrupted by my devilish wheeze to introduce falsehoods into the data used to train the programme.

As a result the programme has now recommended three startups with multi-million pound projects to make fuse-based bipolar PALs, NMOS EAROMs and one micron SoCs on cardboard substrates.

I know this because, having concocted the false data on which the AI programme was trained, I arranged for these projects to be submitted to the ministry for approval knowing that the programme had been fixed to OK them.

My next move was to leak these absurd decisions to the technical media from where they were picked up by the mainstream media who took the p out of the government with the subsequent calamitous loss of credibility of the junior minister.

This seemed the apposite moment to drop a word to the Secretary of State for the science and technology department reminding him of previous approaches made to me about taking up a ministerial job again while reiterating my willingness to serve.

Whether or not the junior minister put up objections again this time, I don’t know. But if he did, the absurd results from his AI programme seem to have so effectively discredited him that his gripes were ignored and I have now been offered the role of Minister of State at the Department of Science and Technology.

Everything comes to he who waits and schemes.